CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Information Rejected

October 5th—Esther Hargrave is becoming quite a fine girl. She is still in school, but will soon finish, and look for a suitable husband. She often came to visit Grassdale with her mother, when the gentlemen were out hunting. I worry for her future, and often advise her to be careful when choosing a husband. She is full of wonder and excitement for the future, as I was before I was married, but then think of my terrible marriage, and hope she will have better luck in choosing her husband than I did with mine.

Her sister worries about her, too. Yesterday morning, Milicent and I were walking in the garden when she began speaking quite seriously.

"Helen," she said, "Esther loves you very much, and trusts you more than our mother. As you see her more than I do, I wish that you will persuade her never to marry for money, but only for love and respect."

"We have already discussed that. I promised you that her views on marriage are quite similar to what you are saying."

"I hope that is true. I do not want her to suffer. I am content with my marriage, Helen, although it has been a difficult time, and do not want my sister to have to suffer the same."

Milicent truly loves her husband, but she struggles sometimes to love him. She often worries about his wild behaviour, but is too afraid to tell him of her displeasure. Hattersley is, however, more reasonable and loving of his family than Arthur, which, of course, upsets me to admit. I have lately tried to ignore Arthur's behaviour, realising that he will never be the husband I thought he would be.

One evening, Mr Hargrave came to me, looking anxious.

"Dear Mrs Huntingdon, I must tell you something very important, although I am in pain telling you because I know you will be hurt."

"Then don't tell me, please!"

"But it is of importance—"

"If it is important, then I will find out soon." I left him. What could he have to tell me that was important?

6th—Mr Hargrave has not requested to announce the terrible news, and I still do not want to hear it. I do not greatly fear it. At present, I am pleased with Arthur; he has not embarrassed himself lately. He drinks less wine at dinner, and has acted like a perfect gentleman. Shall I hope this good behaviour will continue?

(end of section)